What’s in it for me?
(adaptation of the gospel of Jesus Christ)
As evidence that I really am the one with the master plan of the design of the universe I hereby make this improvement to the words of Christ: Love one another with as much empathy as possible.
This new commandment really is an improvement over “love one another” because it:
(1) Requires love to be focused on the unique needs of each individual.
(2) Discerns subtle nuances of callousness that would have otherwise gone undetected.
(3) Fixes key problems with “the golden rule” (it flunks masochism).
Many people do very harmful things in the name of Christ because they do not focus on actually feeling the feelings of others. It is far too easy to judge others with unrighteous judgement when you do not feel what others feel.
The purpose of this improvement to Christ’s words is to bridge the gap between woefully fallible (Isaiah 64:6 “filthy rags”) human understanding of righteousness and the real thing.
As the one-and-only Creator of the Universe, I do not want to be either worshiped or exalted because this would only create separation between myself and my beloved humanity.
The Oxford English Dictionary explains that the name “Pete” in
these exclamations is chiefly “a euphemistic replacement” for God.